I’ve actually been using the Canadian winter as an excuse for not embracing the online dating venture with more vigour.

The truth is, I think I’m a little scared because I haven’t been dating much.

I don’t really count the set-ups because, in most cases, I went into them half-heartedly.

One of the things I hate most about eHarmony is that you actually have to give a reason (out of a list) of why you’ve decided to reject a potential match.

The folks at eHarmony think it’s important to give the person a reason why.

Most of the time, the real reasons aren’t even on there — things like, “You didn’t even bother really completing your profile, so why bother?”

I was mildly embarrassed to discover that one of the potential matches was this guy from another dating site that I met two years ago — I guess he hasn’t had much success, either, in the world of online dating.

The thing about this guy is, I actually thought he was really cute — but he never followed up on meeting up again…yet, continued to half-heartedly e-mail me…which I didn’t really get.

I’ve read “He’s Just Not That Into You” — I know when to cut my losses and just move on.

Anyways, this post wasn’t really meant to be an update on the whole lack-of-progress situation with the online dating excursion.

I actually wanted to write about work — which, for the most part, is what my life is about.

I was reading this article in Psychology Today and also this other piece in the New York Times about older single women who are content with their lot in life — educated women in their thirties, forties and fifties who have built families with their adopted children and without husbands. These are women who have chosen to focus on their careers and on other things besides finding love.

I have to admit that, increasingly, I’ve been feeling more okay with life — which echoes what girlwhogotbored wrote about in her blog today.

I think part of it is about focusing less on what’s been making me unhappy, but the other part is about defining life in other terms…like doing whatever it is that makes me feel comfortable, first and foremost, and caring less about what other people think.

I sort of realized that the way I’d been treating certain people at work was just — well, not good.

There’s this woman that I can’t stand — she’s one of those kiss-asses who dresses in super trendy clothes, only eats at expensive restaurants, and treats people who are in the lower level jobs with open disdain and astonishing rudeness.

Anyways, I realized today that I’m no better.

A couple of times, I’ve made it clear to her that I see her as nothing more than a secretary (though, that being said, I’ve always made it a rule to treat the secretaries nicely. It’s just this ass kisser that I’ve been pulling rank with) and treating her with just as much disdain.

So…how am I any better?

Remember that jackass that I wrote about a few entries ago? The douche bag who’d always make “jokes” that were more personal insults? Today, he made yet another “joke” about how I had an attitude problem…and I realized he was actually right: that I often come across as condescending and bitchy. When I don’t like someone, I dig my heels in and do nothing but point out all the ways in which their ideas don’t work.

I know this has to change — but it’s horrible when you actually see yourself through someone else’s eyes and realize they might actually be on to something.

I think it’s high time that I changed…after all, what am I waiting for? It’s better to provide my own wake-up call and shape up, rather than wait around for something to happen and have someone else (like a senior executive) point it out.