I’m one hot mess.

I have a massive zit festering on my forehead, ready to bust out like Freddy Mercury singing, “I’ve got to break free!”

Plus, as a result of my OCD, I became fixated on this ingrown hair on my leg and I actually took a needle and broke through the skin, trying to claw the sucker out while having my tweezers on standby, ready to swoop in and pull if I ever managed to get a hold of that hair. (No dice.)

So…now, I’ve got a raw patch of red skin on my leg, too.

At work, in spite of my physical messiness, I’ve now been officially welcomed into the managers’ club — it sort of reminds me of high school, actually…except, often, at work, people who were probably never popular in high school now think they’re in the “cool” group — and by “cool”, I really mean higher paid.

It’s very cliquey — or at least that’s how it is where I work. The top guy in my division barely even makes eye contact with the minions, who all hate him with a loathing you’d normally reserve for someone like Adolf Hitler. (Seriously, you’d think this guy torched their homes and killed their families or something — the minions never call him by his name. They call him Jizz Face and Shit Eater.)

Anyways, some of the minions weren’t happy about my promotion — which I anticipated, but I was really direct.

My take is — yeah, I know if you take off 15 minutes early or take longer than an hour for your lunch break or if you spend way too much time on the Internet during work hours…but you know what? I don’t really give a shit as long as you do your work and it’s done properly.

I mean, it’s not like their pay is coming out of my own pocket, you know? So, who gives a fuck?

I’ve always hated bosses who are micro managers and who get all crazy, power tripping.

The one thing I really don’t like about having people report to me?

It’s how you’re suddenly on the outside. Everybody else is out there in cubicle land and they’re just shooting the shit, talking about stuff and goofing off…but you? You can’t do that anymore, ’cause when you come over, they have to pretend they’re working.

It’s just a little weird.