Like this:

I get the feeling that, no matter where I work, it’s always the same.

I’m not talking about the job, but rather, the field I’m in — and the type of people who are usually successful and in powers of position.

I’ve never really been comfortable in places where cliques develop because — and this should be no surprise to any of you — I was a loner in high school.

When I look back on those years, there weren’t any real stand out memories — not good ones, anyway.

I’d eat lunch on my own, go to class, and then head home as soon as possible.

At work, it gets difficult because you’re expected to be a "team player" and that often means getting involved in things outside of work that I don’t want to be involved in — like getting drinks after work with people I don’t particularly like.

My new therapist thinks I’m too entrenched in my ways and that I cling to my routines — even though I don’t like them and often feel lonely sticking to them — because at least they’re comfortable.

Anyways, when I quit my old job to take this "new" one — for much less pay, I might add — I seriously thought I was sacrificing a great salary for less stress and a happier work environment. But, as my therapist has helped me to see, no matter where I go, there I am, so I have to really work on my own way of seeing the world if I want things to be "happier."

I know I compare myself too much to others who are the same age as me — and I can’t help but feel as though I’m lacking in comparison and that this is the great secret as to why I’m unhappy with the way my life has unfolded.

Embarrassingly enough, I even went to a psychic for some "answers" once and he told me there was nothing wrong with me, that I would have everything that everyone else had — it just wouldn’t come to my life until later. I also needed to stop comparing myself to other people if I wanted to be happy, he told me.

I’m back to living at home with the parents again — and the thing is, I think I actually prefer it because it makes me feel less lonely. I like coming home to people — even if it’s my parents — as opposed to being alone and suffocating in further loneliness.

I know other people look at me and think, "God, how can you sacrifice your independence?" as if independence was the be-all and end-all of existence.

But you know what? In spite of this step "backwards" I feel a little less alone — and for now, home is where I want to be.

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