So, I listened to that CBC podcast — and I liked it.
I thought it was a very dignified interview with three people who happened to be virgins.
To be fair, one of them identified as asexual — and that sort of makes it different. But still…she’s a virgin.
The only thing that made me a little sad was listening to the one guy who was 42 who, on the one hand, identified strongly with his Roman Catholic faith but at the same time, felt like it was “over” for him and like there was no chance to find someone…and here, I don’t think the sadness was solely focused on his virginity. He sort of seemed upset that he still hadn’t found someone yet.
Ultimately, I think that’s probably what bothers most of us who are still virgins — we’re not solely seeking that physical connection to relieve us of the “burden” of being virgins. It’s that emotional connection that we’re seeking — and it’s that emotional connection that needs to be present first before you can even entertain thoughts about doing the deed and being sexually active.
And when it’s so difficult to meet someone and have a relationship, you’re bound to ask yourself if there’s something wrong with you…and in most cases, I don’t think there is. Sometimes, it just boils down to really shitty luck.
People get together every day — those who are lucky enough to have had zero trouble in this regard fail to understand why it’s so difficult for the rest of us.
Take my boss, for instance. She went online, met a guy who she invited to her place and had sex with on their first date. Now, six months later, they’re looking at moving in together and engagement ring-shopping.
(She’s an odious human being, by the way.)
Anyways…that’s that.
I don’t know if I would have been a horribly engaging person if I had appeared on that radio program, though.
I’m a virgin because I never met anybody — I have dated very casually, done everything that people usually suggest (in the same manner in which people give overweight people advice on losing weight…you know, like they never thought to do that themselves) to meet people, but I have never met anybody I wanted to be in a relationship with (and who similarly wanted the same thing of me).
The older I get, I wouldn’t say that it gets more “difficult.” It remains the same.
I don’t think my virginity defines me.
My loneliness haunts me, of course, but I’ve had to deal with that all of my life…so that’s nothing new.
The only thing at issue is my biological clock ticking. Once upon a time, I thought I wanted kids…but now, I sort of feel like that might not happen — not in any natural sense, that is.
Anyways…thought I’d post that.
